Of course, when I found the pack, I picked them up, being the little rebel I was and, I suppose, still am. I took them to my bedroom, out on my porch and lighted one up with the matches I stole from Dad. I didn’t get a buzz, because I didn’t inhale, but just the fact I was actually smoking made me think I was cool. But my snobby friend Donna didn’t think so. She was just looking at me like I was the stupidest thing on earth. Which I probably was, because I still smoke till this day.
I’ve tried to quit, but it’s very hard when all my friends smoke, too. When I started smoking regularly, in sixth grade, I was in Tilden Middle School. I would say only about 20 people smoked other than me. At the end of the year, at least 200 people were smoking on a regular basis. It was pretty bad. Some kids’ grades went down, including mine, from skipping classes to get nicotine in their system to last them through the day. (Pretty pathetic, huh?)
Some people think that Joe Camel is directed toward teenagers. Well, I don’t think so. If they are trying to direct it toward teenagers, they are doing a pretty bad job. I’m sorry, but a goofy-looking camel who smokes his brains out doesn’t quite turn me on. Actually, I have never seen an ad that made me want to smoke a particular brand. All those cigarette ads are practically the same. They all have beautiful women smoking, acting like they are having the time of their lives. In real life, I know that that model with perfect white teeth doesn’t get close to a cigarette.
My parents often ask me, “Where do you buy your cigarettes, anyway?” I buy them anywhere. There are very few places that don’t sell me cigarettes. Hardly anyone ever asks me for ID. Maybe I look 18; maybe I just put another $2.50 in the cash register. One of the places that do not sell me cigarettes is the Safeway down the street. Last time I went there, I stole four packs of cigarettes, got caught, got arrested and had to write an essay on why stealing is wrong. Man! The lengths addicts go to!
There’s no doubt in my mind that cigarettes are a gateway drug. About five months after I started smoking I started doing drugs. I’m in Narcotics Anonymous for marijuana and alcohol abuse. Almost everyone I know, except for three people, started smoking before doing drugs. That has to tell you something.
Since I’ve started smoking I can hardly run around the block without getting out of breath. A lot of my friends have gotten asthma. My more and dad quit smoking about 14 years ago, and my more now has cancer and my dad has had three heart attacks. My grandma quit eight years ago, and she has emphysema. Not only that–my two grandfathers died from the results of smoking. After all these problems, you’d think I’d know better than to smoke. But I guess I don’t.
I can’t tell that I smell when I smoke, but my parents and others can. I remember one time, before I smoked, I left my jacket at my friend Brynn’s house. Her whole family smoked. I got the jacket back around five months later, and I had to throw it away because it smelled like an ashtray. So I feel sorry for those who don’t smoke and have to put up with my odor all day. When I smoke in my room at home, I hang out the window.
I’ve now switched to mentholated cigarettes. For two years I smoked another popular brand, but they made me feel like my breath stunk, so I changed to the mentholated. Now I’m not only addicted to the nicotine, I’m addicted to the menthol too! Yippee!
To kids or teenagers who think smoking is cool or who want to try it, I say, don’t! It might calm you down when you’re really worked up, but 20 years from now you might find yourself really calmed down. You could get emphysema, asthma, lung cancer, throat cancer and much more.
For any parents who have kids who smoke or who are worried that they’ll start, the honest truth is you can’t do anything about it. You can tell them cigarettes are bad and so forth, but there is nothing else you can do. If you tell your kid not to smoke, your kid might not smoke in or around the house but your kid is sure not going to stay away from smoking when you’re not there, So unless you want to lock your kid in the house, there is nothing you can do. All you can do is pray that your kid has the strength to quit. Right now, I don’t. I have told my parents that I will try to stop by Christmas as a present to them.
Like I said, I belong to Narcotics Anonymous. Similar to Alcoholics Anonymous, it is a 12-step program to give people the strength to stay drug free. I’ve been clean for more than seven months. I would have been over a year free if I hadn’t had a relapse with some friends last March. It’s furmy, but I think it’s easier to give up drugs than cigarettes. Most of my friends in N.A. feel the same way, I bet. We’re permitted to smoke at N.A. meetings, and I know I would rather go to meetings that allow smoking than those that don’t.
I really hate the thought of quitting. I hate the thought of never having another cigarette, even though I know how bad they are for my health. I even wrote to Congressman Henry Waxman to say that I would like to testify in Congress about teenage smoking and how many really young kids are hooked bad on cigarettes. But yet, I don’t want to do anything that might make cigarettes more expensive to buy or harder to get. I say it’s because I don’t want to do anything that would make my friends mad at me, but I know that’s not the real reason. You see, I’m really hooked on cigarettes. I guess if I wanted to be a real friend to the other kids I would do everything I could to help them kick cigarettes just like they are trying to kick dope. I only know for sure that smoking sucks … no ifs, ands or butts.
