But mess with cat freedom is exactly what our town council has done. They’ve passed an ordinance requiring all residents to keep their cats on leashes – or to keep them permanently confined to the house.
Actually the ordinance doesn’t use those words, but it does require cat owners to prevent cats from straying even one foot off their owner’s property. So unless you have a cat who can be reasoned with or who is willing to accept the concept of “fence,” that’s the way things work out.
And this was not an accidental, unforeseen consequence of the ordinance. During debate it was acknowledged by all parties that leashes or permanent confinement were the only ways to comply with the edict – and a majority of the council deemed those extreme measures reasonable. The vote was 7-1 for enactment – with the sole dissenter using the adjective “stupid” to describe the law when casting his vote.
As you can imagine, lots of hackles were raised – and we opponents finally got a rehearing at which the only gray matter prevailing was concrete. The ordinance was reaffirmed – although this time there were two dissenting voices, with one councilwoman deciding to change her vote because she had been convinced the law was unenforceable.
Now here’s a strange thing, folks – even the members voting for the ordinance admitted it was unenforceable and, if you can believe this, they indicated they had no intention of trying to enforce it in any case. In fact, all of the councilpersons voting for it went out of their way to assure those of us who opposed their folly that they intended to enforce it with as little gusto as possible. “The police have more important things to do than deal with this ordinance,” said one to a reporter. “We’re not going to have cat police in Piscataway,” was the comment of another council member.
Even the township health officer sought to allay any fears about enforcement when he answered a question about that aspect: “We’ll handle it like we would someone calling in about a nuisance cat. If we get a call, we’ll send someone out as soon as we can.
But that’s the way the “nuisance prohibition” (also included in the law) was supposed to work. We opponents had argued all along that the nuisance prohibition was sufficient and that the requirement to leash or confine was overkill. Now, after getting their petulant way about the stronger measure they insisted was necessary, the council had turned to mush. And when asked, “Then why do you want that silly provision in there?” they answered with mealy-mouthed, convoluted pap that would cause even a member of Congress to gag. Stuff like, that we’re not a rural community anymore where cats can be allowed to run free.
Now, before you get me wrong, let me say that the ordinance as originally conceived was a decent document. It requires all cat owners to have their pets inoculated against rabies – and that is something all reasonable people support. And as I mentioned earlier, it requires all cat owners to prevent their pets from becoming a nuisance to neighbors which makes plenty of sense and has received the enthusiastic endorsement of just about everybody in town. And lastly it requires cats to be licensed, which is not unreasonable either.
But the art about not allowing your cat to set foot off your property has turned the ordinance into a farce.
Cats cannot be kept outside on a leash like a dog because they are climbing animals and if you did, you’d end up with a township full of cats hanging by their necks from tree limbs and deck railings. And if you could ever explain to a cat what the purpose of a fence is, all you’d get is an incredulous cat calling his feline friends over to enjoy a big laugh about what we humans have in mind with those structures.
A contributing factor to the law’s being passed seems to be a resident’s complaint that a neighborhood cat was using his kid’s sandbox as a litter box. And that the cat’s owners were not responsive to requests to control their animal.
Now let me be out front about this. If it were my kid’s sandbox and my inconsiderate neighbors, I would be mightily bugged by that situation. And except that I personally would never admit to being outsmarted by an animal with a brain the size of a walnut, I would expect to have recourse to law.
But the “nuisance prohibition” provides for just that. And if I were too stupid to realize that a squirt or two with a garden hose would be 10 times more effective at handling an unwelcome cat than a constitutional amendment, I would avail myself of that remedy.
Instead, the case has been blown up to the point where these people are willing to order the house arrest of every cat in the township in order to deal with the one or two that cause problems. An unenforceable solution. In fact, a nonsolution to a nonproblem.
But what can you expect? These are the same people who, in defiance of what any kindergarten kid could have told them about kitty toilet habits, insisted that cats be included in the township’s pooper-scooper law!
Because of all this, I am nominating my hometown as the logical site for a national Knucklehead Hall of Fame.
If you are a cat lover, watch out. This is the kind of nonsense that, once started, takes on a life of its own. Beware!
